dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
