I just made out with a guy for $7.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
