I should be sponsored by Trojan
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
