There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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