So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Everclear isn't food dammit
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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