anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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