"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
