So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
