I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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