there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
