I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
