Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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