just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
