just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
