i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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