you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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