I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
