Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
