i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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