I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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