Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
