Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
