I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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