I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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