I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
