i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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