why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
