I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
