I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Randomize
