They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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