Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
