You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
