Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
