i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
