I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
