toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
