at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You are a genius and a whore.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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