we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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