i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
