I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
