I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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