Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
