I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
