Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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