So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
