is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize