I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
