Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
