What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
