Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I need to calm my uterus...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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