I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
